旦那が何を言っているかわからない件 (I Have No Idea What My Husband Is Saying)
Today I am going to talking about love, because to me, I still have no idea what it means to be in love and that is the perfect reason to speak about it. I have been searching for love for a long time. Seeking out that perfect woman, for when all is said and done I could settle down with her in the future. That person is out there right now driving to work, reading a book or drinking expired milk. I have no idea, but she is out there and that thought alone excites me. Everyone says you know exactly the moment you are in love, it hits you like a tonne of bricks. Six months have passed since I moved to Australia and I left many friends behind to journey this far, but one stands out from the rest.
I worked 50+ hour weeks back home and every second night a woman would come over to my place at ten and stay with me a few hours until the new day reared its head. Quite late for a work night, but we alternated the supply of beer so as not to get dehydrated. I always supplied the anime. I introduced her to shows she had never heard of and shows people told her to watch. There is absolutely nothing romantic about getting loaded while watching anime. I just sit there next to her and hear her commentary on why some characters are stupid or she hazards a guess as to the outcome of a series before we even hit episode six. And it was terrifying how correct she consistently was. It was perfect, in a way that made me believe it would last forever. We did this a number of times a week; it was the one thing I looked forward to the most.
Because, I love her.
I told this woman, many times and I heard it from her lips, many times. This was not a fake declaration. I could feel the sincerity in her voice every time she gifted me those words. It was one night where I stopped her before she left and I lay it on her. Words I have never uttered to another human being and she returned it tenfold. All the weight it can hold when your name is added to the end of ‘I love you’.
It is my most treasured friendship and I know she feels the same. We always talked about growing old, being at each other’s wedding, staying in close contact and always being there for each other until we found that someone worth dying for. The cliché is believing your other half does not exist. And it took me leaving the country to realize I would exhaust my energy until death for this woman. Because these people do exist, I just always saw them as friends. I am finally entertaining the idea of calling this girl my own. I would bet our love on this, I am that confident.
I brought up the series that I referenced exactly zero times in this post. If you have ever watched this short anime you might understand exactly where I am coming from. When you ‘feel it’ the anime hits that much harder, and I hope I am not the only one to experience this. The way the two protagonists interact with each other is exactly how her and I interact – with significantly less otaku references. I am eager to take this risk, to tell her what I have truly been feeling. I will be returning to the homeland soon and I need to make this crystal clear to her or I will regret it for the rest of my life.